Unresisted Dreaming

Night. A white room in a house I do not know. I am lying in an open shipping transport box that fits my body in exact measure. Light wood, simple and coffin like. The bottom is covered with soft, pillowish dark blue material. I feel comfortable, yet I am aware that the situation is dangerous. Outside I hear some kind of upheaval, screaming, bomb explosions, a war like atmosphere. All over sudden several men are standing next to my box in a tight row. Maybe its 10 men, all lined up, in a warring, military stance, with rifles meticulously aimed at my body, ready to shoot. At first I am panicking, heat, fast thoughts, I feel my fear of dying, of pain, of their power. It all goes fast and I am fully absorbed in this state of inner rush and outer stillness. But then without a warning, in a surprising manner, I realize I can still choose. That I can choose a YES. So I do. I choose fully, erotically YES to dying, to death. An aroused completeness washes over me and a peacefulness starts to spread. I am like the Universe, complete. I sense my full autonomy AND complete surrender. Without saying a word, the soldiers heard my Yes. I just know it. I wait, I wonder how it will feel to get shot, how long will it take to die, will it hurt? The tension of the pointed guns to my body is sharp and directed. I am the abyss. 

Yet no shots ring, no sensation comes. I close my eyes. Stillness. Now I hear one of the men crying. Then another one and another. The tension starts to dissipate. I know each one now feels this soul, telling him that they have been tricked in to war, into killing their brothers and sisters and that it’s not right anymore to shoot me. The space widens. The men put their rifles down. I live.